Helping hand

Awhile back, I wrote a feature for the Society of Authors on how to stay healthy when you spend half your life in front of a computer. I urged writers to check their desk set-up, take frequent breaks and consider investing in an ergonomic mouse and keyboard from the clever people at The Keyboard Company in Stroud. Anything to prevent the pain and inconvenience of RSI or carpal tunnel syndrome.

Alas, I spoke too soon. Shortly after the article was published, I noticed something strange about my left hand – the little finger curling in slightly. It didn’t hurt, and no one else would ever notice, so I tried to ignore it. Unfortunately, I also happen to be a keen amateur pianist, and I noticed I was hitting even more wrong notes than usual with my left hand. Something had to be done.

I took myself to my GP and was swiftly diagnosed with Dupytren’s contracture, a progressive hand condition which causes the fingers to bend inward towards the palm. It tends to run in families, and I remember my father having something similar; he claimed it was triggered by frostbite when working on an engineering project in Siberia, but then he was a bit of a fantasist.

There are various treatments available, including – if it hasn’t progressed too far - radiotherapy. And so it was that I recently spent a week bombing up and down the M5, for a daily blast at Bristol Genesiscare. Once I got there, it was very quick - ten minutes to set up each hand, followed by thirty seconds of actual radiation. As the days rolled by, I discovered the nurses had a penchant for cheese scones, so on the last day I baked them a batch and brought them in. Treatment resumes in August – another five sessions – and I’m going to surprise them with ‘laminated cheese scones’, which I’m assured are the latest thing, and involve rolling and folding, like puff pastry.

Among many lessons taught me by mother was not to go on about illnesses and ailments, because although people are obviously sympathetic, it makes such boring conversation. I promise this is a one-off, and there are no more medical bulletins in store.